7/50: Piano, Cappuccino

I approached this task with mild trepidation, due to two undeniable facts: one, I don't play the piano, and two, I don't like coffee. Undeterred, I set off with gusto, being timed by someone else (who also kindly took photos) I grabbed one of two nearby books of piano music, which was the sheet music to Ben Folds' album 'Rockin The Suburbs', and began my epic 54-minute jam session.

The first couple of minutes consisted of me familiarising myself with bass clef ('Oh, what? That's a G?') and then working on my left hand only, and then eventually it was joined by the right hand in a clunky, fragmented rendition of 'Fred Jones Part 2' (the song which looked the easiest), leaving out the intro which I had a go at but it's off the beat and my hands could barely deal with doing two different things at the SAME time, let alone different times. At first, I stopped after every note, then after every bar, then managed to get some two-bar passages fairly smooth. Just as the 54 minutes came to an end, I managed to play the whole thing through up to where the chorus starts. It was still a bit wrong in places, but I think pretty impressive for someone who has never even pretended to play the piano.

At this point, my cappuccino arrived from a nearby coffee shop, presenting me with my second challenge: I don't really like coffee. Given that under the terms of the challenge, the alcoholic beverages may be consumed by a nearby useful person, I ensured someone was nearby who would be able to drink it for me. I then, with the best possible intentions, tried the cappuccino. Well, from this moment onward, coffee is no longer one of those things which I don't drink just because I've never tried it and didn't really fancy it - I really did not like it at all. I'm assured it's an acquired taste, but to me it just tasted of burnt mud. It's a shame, because I know a lot of people really enjoy coffee. I'm sticking to tea, thanks.

6/50: Fishing, Jam Donut

This week I am ill. Not only does this mean I'm not able to get on with any of the more active components of my calorie offsetting mission, I also am unable to do any of the other things I should otherwise be doing. Not only does this suck, I'm also ill. It's a horrible vicious circle, and in order to break out of it, I have decided to use my time sat on the sofa doing nothing more productively - that is, complete another of my hilarious tasks.

Now, you may wonder how it is that I've managed to go fishing from the comfort of a couch/duvet combo, but the answer is of course, thanks to Nintendo. Wii Play features what I am assured is a highly realistic fishing simulator, complete with lifting the rod when you've got a bite, and fish of different levels of jumpiness and quickness to bite (which are, conveniently, different colours). 75 minutes of fishing is required to offset one jam doughnut (which my lovely boyfriend will be bringing home with him, because he's nice like that), and I can tell you 75 minutes is a very long time in fishing. Not only have I mastered the art, I have also attained a high score of nearly 3000, and obtained the bronze, silver, gold AND platinum medals (somehow, even though I'm the only one playing).

Hopefully normal service will resume next week, at which point I'll feel better and will attempt one of what people are referring to as 'the big ones', i.e. something which will involve more considerable time/expense/effort/embarassment than any of the tasks I've done so far. People have been questioning my commitment. They will see.

5/50: Supermarket shopping, Chocolate muffin

Immediately in the wake of my victory with the washing up, I set off with an empty trolley and a long list, in order to complete my epic shopping task. With some judicious wandering around and lots of putting things in the trolley, the minutes seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, I had done my shopping and it was time for lunch. In an amazing example of good fortune, the cafe in Sainsbury's was almost closed, and they were giving away free muffins! Sadly, none of them were chocolate, so I made do with this apple and cinnamon masterpiece, which I enjoyed with a nice cup of tea.

4/50: Washing up, Bucks Fizz

A slightly delayed write up for this, since I've been busy and it's a slightly boring one, but the fact is, I did 40 minutes of washing up (that's a lot of washing up, and there weren't quite enough things dirty so I used the last five minutes to wipe down all the kitchen surfaces and tidy up) and then, for reasons mentioned earlier in the blog, gave the glass of Bucks Fizz to Paul, which we enjoyed with a nice risotto.